Why On Earth Are You A Mormon?
The other night, I was sitting with a friend of mine at a comedy show, waiting for it to start. We were talking about dating, and at one point I said, “Yeah, I tend to go for those really Mormony guys.”
“Really? ‘Cause your not… well, you’re not exactly a ‘Molly Mormon.’”
I laughed. “No. No, I am not.”
This was not the first time the oddity of my faith and me have been brought to my attention. Now in this case, my friend was not implying that I didn’t seem like a good LDS girl; I just wasn’t what came to mind when thinking of the stereotypical Mormon female. When it comes to people outside my faith, I think they see a very outspoken woman who deeply believes in things they don’t associate with any religion, especially one of those “crazy” ones. To a certain extent, I think this comes from a misunderstanding of the LDS church, and how intellectual it is, and how its rationale makes it easy to be deeply religious in the modern world. It’s not just that I think women should have access to birth control, or that we should have more restrictive gun laws, which are issues now intertwined with the religious section of America, but it’s that I’m a very logical person. I grew up in an academic world. My parents are engineers. I remember my father talking about how creationism shouldn’t be taught in science. I saw the world through biology and physics – not exactly what most would think of when describing a religious individual.
But here I am, a Mormon, and a very active one at that. I’ve long since left the nest, so it’s not by any pressure of my parents that I’m this way. To be honest, they weren’t particularly pushy about church when I was young, so they certainly aren’t now. This is my choice. But why?
I don’t know if I can adequately convey the joy and hope that comes to me because of my faith. I have visited many places in the world, but never have I known such a people as the Mormons. While I’ve encountered bad eggs, as would be found in any group of people, as a whole, they are the most kind, and a most giving people. They are so genuine so as to be far removed from hypocrisy. I am of course speaking in only a general sense. They deeply want what is best for the people of the world, and take very seriously Christ’s command to love one another.
“Ah, yes, but Rebecca, many people are doing wonderful things in the world. Why believe in a religion that’s so difficult, with so many rules and commitments?”
To questions like that, I would respond with the following story recounted by Neil L. Anderson:
Gordon B. Hinckley spoke of meeting a young naval officer from Asia. The officer had not been a Christian, but during training in the United States, he had learned about the Church and was baptized. He was now preparing to return to his native land.
President Hinckley asked the officer: “Your people are not Christians. What will happen when you return home a Christian, and, more particularly, a Mormon Christian?”
The officer’s face clouded, and he replied: “My family will be disappointed. … As for my future and my career, all opportunity may be foreclosed against me.”
President Hinckley asked, “Are you willing to pay so great a price for the gospel?”
With his dark eyes moistened by tears, he answered with a question: “It’s true, isn’t it?”
President Hinckley responded, “Yes, it is true.”
To which the officer replied, “Then what else matters?”
The answer is easy. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is Christ’s church. I say this in no uncertain terms. I have studied many religions and philosophies of the world. I sought to understand them in their purest form, and I found great light there. But it was in the faith of my childhood that I found a wholeness of truth that I saw nowhere else.
I know we are guided by a prophet who receives revelation. I know that in addition to the Holy Bible, The Book of Mormon, Another Testament of Jesus Christ is the word of God. I know that Christ is the head of this church. I know that I can be with my family forever because of the temple. I have felt the Holy Spirit testify of these things. Now, I cannot quantify that – I have no tests, or studies, or numbers, but it is as true to me as cell division, and gravity, and the Earth’s rotation causing the sun to rise in the east every morning. Perhaps one day I’ll write about how my religion doesn’t contradict my other beliefs, but in fact compliments them. But for now, I will leave it at this:
I am a Mormon because I know the church is true. It’s as simple as that.
Thank you for sharing your testimony of the truth of the Restored Gospel. I’m a convert to the Church and I love every bit of it, its doctrine, its leaders and its head, even Jesus Christ the Lord Himself. Aside from blogging about business and web design I also use the internet to somehow spread the Good News. I started a Youtube Channel for my fellow Filipinos who know little or nothing about our faith, you can check it at youtube dot com/ rambothemormon 🙂
Cheers.
This was very interesting. I am not Mormon. I have a very good friend that does take me to the LDS church once in awhile for sacrement and RS activities. I do find it comforting. I’m just not ready, but what you said about Mormons genuinely loving their fellow man and wanting to do good (I know not proper grammar)I have found to be true. Every time I go into the church, I am welcomed and remembered. Now maybe I’m remembered because I’m the only non-Mormon, but I don’t think so. 🙂 Thanks for writing this. bravelybipolar.wordpress.com
And hopefully nobody has or won’t be pushy towards you joining the church but that you do so when you feel it’s right. Did you know that Brigham Young spent two years learning about the church before he was baptized?
“I have visited many places in the world, but never have I known such a people as the Mormons.”
I grew up LDS. I lived in a dozen different places, and in every place, my family attended church. My Mormon peers were no different from anyone else. Looking back honestly and critically, they were no better or kinder than those who were not Mormon. I currently have many relatives and friends who are Mormon, and they are not statistically better as a group than my other relatives or friends. They do not on the whole exhibit behavior that sets them apart from others. I would say, in fact, that they are as human — messy, complicated, emotional, flawed — as everyone else.
“While I’ve encountered bad eggs, as would be found in any group of people, as a whole, they are the most kind, and a most giving people.”
Did you apply the Bechdel test to that? What I really mean by that is, did you find a way to analytically set aside any bias your upbringing may have created in you to look favorably on people who are part of your religion? Did you analyze their behavior without bias before coming to that conclusion? Like I said, I grew up Mormon, too, and some of the worst interactions I’ve had in life were with Mormons. They weren’t isolated incidents or weird anomalies. When I look at the good and the bad in Mormons, I see about the same level of good and bad as I do everywhere else. There has been nothing about this particular group of people that makes them exceptional, or more giving, or more kind than atheists, agnostics, Muslims, other subsets of Christianity, etc. I see no reason to elevate them above others or call them special.
I wasn’t like that growing up. Growing up, I was told Mormons were a very special people, a kind and loving people, and I took that at face value, without turning a critical eye toward such blanket statements. But when I reached adulthood, it became necessary to look hard at everything I had blindly accepted as a child — to understand why I believed something, where that belief came from, and to deconstruct whether or not there was a justifiable reason to believe it. You talk about being a logical person, but with all due respect, it doesn’t sound like you’ve applied logic to the assumptions you were taught in childhood. It sounds like you’ve looked for proof to back up something you’d already decided was true, which is about as biased as one can get. You have to be willing to prove something is false if it is false, even if it might mean giving up beliefs you are emotionally entwined with, to be able to remove any blinders you might be wearing in your life. The pursuit of truth (aka fact) must have no sacred cows, because they block the path to attaining knowledge. It sounds like Mormonism is a sacred cow to you, one you have not questioned the veracity of in an impartial way.
“They are so genuine so as to be far removed from hypocrisy. They deeply want what is best for the people of the world, and take very seriously Christ’s command to love one another.”
Look at the broadness of these blanket statements. Imagine applying this to any other group. “Men are so genuine so as to be far removed from hypocrisy. Men deeply want what is best for the people of the world.” or “Whites are so genuine so as to be far removed from hypocrisy. Whites deeply want what is best for the people of the world.” Some men, perhaps. Some white people, perhaps. But their being white or their being men have nothing do with it, and you cannot say that the whole group, or even just the majority, fit this description based merely on their being part of X or Y group. (Note: I’m not sure I’ve met anyone who is entirely removed from hypocrisy — what an enormous claim to make. You’d have to note every single action in a person’s life, and the thought that went through their head when taking that action, to know so with certainty that they are removed from hypocrisy. Neither of us reads minds, so I don’t see how either of us could make that declaration.)
Blanket statements like these never hold up to analysis, and yet you’ve made them without hesitation. Consider the possibility that you are wearing blinders in regards to the behavior of people you grew up with, making them an exception to your otherwise thoughtful life. Letting their behavior, even negative or biased behavior, slide because they are your people. Consider that in your mind, Mormons might be people of privilege; you may allow them a privileged perch that you do not provide to others. Are they kind, or do you believe they are kind because you’ve been taught to assume they are?
You should try the Bechdel test in a Young Women’s class sometime. Or just open the teaching manual for Relief Society and try it on that. Add a caveat: “does not mention marriage or children.”
I have also found that every group of people is made up of mostly good and honorable people. We have enjoyed associating with homeschool groups, women’s groups, book groups, exercise groups, etc. She did not say that others are not. Good people and good things are found everywhere and God is working through them.
I think the main point here, though, is that the church is true. The comfort of having a basically good group of people around you is nice, too. I also cringed a bit to read the phrase “entirely removed from hypocrisy” as I know it can’t be true. I have had and still will have some hypocritical moments in my life, and I am a very active Mormon mom. But maybe that’s just a different view of the degree it takes to call something hypocrisy.
I can totally relate to this testimony as I have excelled in math and science and think very critically and logically. I am basically a skeptic. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day-Saints has passed every test I have thought up, logically, emotionally and spiritually. It is the only one that truly makes sense, but it takes deep thought and prayerful study to get to that point. I believe that everyone, in this life or the next, will reach the same conclusion because it will become more and more obvious.
Thank you, Rebecca for your testimony. Your point that it is true makes all the other unimportant. Even if my whole ward turns against me or pushes me out or maligns me or forbids me to come, I will still know that Christ restored his gospel on the earth and that it is through the priesthood power that the earth is prepared for the coming of our Savior. I add my witness.
“I say this in no uncertain terms. I have studied many religions and philosophies of the world. I sought to understand them in their purest form, and I found great light there. But it was in the faith of my childhood that I found a wholeness of truth that I saw nowhere else.”
This quote Rebecca gave sounds like a good enough answer to me on her looking into the beliefs of other faiths. I don’t know why you’re no longer with the LDS Church and I won’t ask why either. I’m sorry you’ve had your negative experiences and you’re not the only one. Maybe that’s why Elder David A. Bednar gave a talk in the October 2006 General Conference about being offended. Unfortunately I believe opportunities to be offended are just as certain as death and taxes.
As to whether Rebecca gives what you say are blanket statements is her decision to say what she wants on her blog. She’s not obligated to apply the Bechdel test as you’re appearing to hope for.
I am curious how someone who leaves the church still cares about it enough to give it attention. But hey if you want to practice you have that privilege here in America.
I didn’t “leave” the church; I did not choose to join it in the first place. My parents were the ones who chose to take their family to this church, but that doesn’t mean it was appropriate for the church to sign up all the children when they were too young to understand what was going on, put them on a list, and call them “members.” In my opinion, that really ought to wait until someone turns 18 and can decide for themselves what organizations they do or don’t want to be a part of.
I was raised to be a Mormon, but when I became an adult, I examined the church the same way I examine everything: analysis, dissection, and the scientific method. It holds up as poorly as “vaccines cause autism” — easily disprovable because instead of being based on reality, it’s based on imagination. (Primarily the white, male, America-centric imaginations of Joseph Smith and subsequent leaders, which resulted in a racist, uneducated take on Native American history, and the sexist mistreatment of women.)
You “know it to be true”, but feelings or testimonies do not invalidate the scientific method, because the point of science is to discover what is true, which includes filtering out our own biases and emotions in order to see the world as neutrally as we can. Feelings do not make fiction true. The foundation of belief in Mormonism is built on sand: the teachings admonish you to pray to know if the church is true, which will be relayed by a burning in the bosom. But a burning in the bosom is a feeling, which can be self-generated (I tested this, in fact, when I was doing my investigation). A burning bosom proves nothing beyond your ability to feel it burning. The teachings basically advise you to invent a feeling and then believe that it can make fiction into reality. This kind of teaching leads to believers ignoring all sorts of important and provable things, if they conflict with whatever belief it is the person wants to be true. This is why we have deniers of climate change, homophobia being used as a justification for persecution, people letting their children die of measles because they won’t get them vaccinated, people who kill others when their religious beliefs dictate it, and so on. To assume a feeling proves something is real is problematic and can lead to all kinds of thoughtless or even cruel behaviors. Which is why I would rather stick to being a thinking, skeptical person constantly examining the world and herself.
BTW, people don’t automatically reject a religion because they are “offended.” That’s so shallow it makes my eyes cross whenever someone says it. (And I’ve heard it a million times at this point in my life — always from Mormons.) That people leave because they are offended is just a conditioned assumption that Mormonism teaches. I remember assuming it myself. On examining people who were no longer attending church (there are plenty hanging out on the exmormon.org message boards who you can examine for yourself), I discovered it to be a ridiculous idea — and very insulting of them, because it’s a shallow and condescending dismissal of their lives.
Question for Audrey T. It was interesting to me to read your comments. You say that we can’t know something is true by our feelings. So how do you know if someone loves you or if you love someone? Isn’t that a “feeling”?
I also found it interesting that you use the phrase “This is why we have deniers of climate change” and other things after speaking of the scientific method. When in fact climate change aka global warming is only based on a computer model of a “what if” scenario. There is no evidence happening outside of the computer. When actual earth temperatures are looked at, they have changed less than 1 degree in the last 100 years. To control carbon is to kill ourselves off. We breathe out carbon, plants breathe it in. Plants give off oxygen which we breathe in. A volcano eruption puts out more carbon than we puny humans ever could and a good rainstorm clears the sky whether the smog or “greenhouse gas” is from volcanoes or a coal plant. Carbon is vital to all life on earth. Without it, all life dies.
A suggestion for you, since you state that you are a “thinking, skeptical person constantly examining the world”: That you find the root source for information.
I do agree with you that people don’t leave the lds church just because they are offended. People leave all kinds of things for all kinds of reasons. Jobs, relationships, cities, states, churches, clubs, schools, etc. The reasons included, but are not limited to, boredom, wanting to try something new, not happy about something, don’t place value on it, etc. There are many reasons why someone calls it quits with anything in their life, including the church they have been attending.
Again, I ask how do you know if you love someone?
How do I “know” I love someone? I don’t. Love is an opinion, not gravity or oxygen or fact.
You have an emotional reaction to something. You interpret what that reaction is and what it means. Your interpretation is not a fact or proof of anything. Plenty of stalkers believe they are in love. Plenty of abusive spouses believe they hit a person out of love. That does not make their belief a fact. That does not make their definition of love universal or concrete. What is and isn’t love is subjective. The meaning of love, what sensations it involves — that’s different for every person.
There are people who think it’s love to tell their gay son or daughter that they’re going to Hell. Their idea of love differs from mine.
The subject of this post is not climate change — that was given as an example, not as a means to sidetrack the conversation. You’re welcome to discuss climate change and carbon in other forums if you like, but I’m staying on topic here.
Alright, I wasn’t going to reply to this thread, but here is my response. I would like to say at the opening of this though, I am not interested in arguing about religion. I prefer to treat other people’s belief systems with respect, and would rather learn than argue. I will not be responding to anything beyond this, simply because I do not want to start an argument.
One, I am sorry that your experience in the LDS church was poor. Those are valid feelings, and I know there can be really difficult people and circumstances that arise. When I was speaking in the article, I was speaking in a broad sense of my personal experience. While you have your right to express your dislike, I am also entitled to express my positive feelings. I have my issues with Mormon culture (if you read my “Modest Is Not Hottest” or “The Lie Coming Out of Conservative America” you can probably guess what they are), but I do not let certain cultural issues effect my faith. For example: I grew up around many wonderful individuals who were practicing Muslims. They were kind, well educated, interesting people. While it’s true that certain factions of their faith tended toward violent extremism, that is one interpretation, that many would say is wrong, by people. Most that I have spoken to try and root their faith in the teaching, not the misguided actions of others. I choose the same path.
Two, if you would like a study, there are actually a lot of independent studies done on the Mormon faith that you can look into. This (http://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/major-new-study-of-religion-has-much-to-say-about-mormons) is the most recent one I am aware of. Pew Research has a lot more. However, the point of me writing this was to say that while I am a very analytical person, this is an area of my life that is dictated by my heart.
Three, I want to specifically address the issue you mentioned in your last comment. “There are people who think it’s love to tell their gay son or daughter that they’re going to Hell. Their idea of love differs from mine.” Well I would certainly agree with you on that. My uncle is gay, and I remember my mother telling me about when he came out. Her mother, who was a very conservative LDS woman, never “told him he was going to hell”, or showed him any less love. Any struggle she had with that she kept to herself, as she saw loving and accepting her son to be of greater importance. In fact several years later, he called her and asked if he could bring his partner home for Christmas, as his family had essentially disowned him. She said “Of course!” and then upon hanging up the phone, looked at my mother, and said “No decent parent would ever do that to their child.” This lesson was passed on from her to me in my own youth. I not only cringe when I hear about people reacting like this, but make a point to speak up. To quote two prominent leaders, “Everyone, independent of his or her decisions or believes, deserves our kindness and friendliness….In the gospel of Jesus Christ, there is no place for ridicule, bullying, or bigotry,” and “As a church, nobody should be more loving and compassionate. Let us be at the forefront in terms of expressing love, compassion and outreach. Let’s not have families exclude or be disrespectful of those who choose a different lifestyle as a result of their feelings about their own gender.”
Perhaps this addresses at least some of your questions, and I hope you have a wonderful day.
Thank you for the reply, especially considering you weren’t planning to respond initially. I have no interest in an argument, but I’m interested in debating your perspective, because to me, debate is productive and compelling and helps me to understand the perspectives of others better.
One: My comments were directed primarily toward pointing out the problems and concerns I have regarding faith, especially when someone feels their faith is the equivalent of knowing that something is true AKA a fact. Re: culture. As far as I can tell, faith and culture are deeply entwined and cannot be arbitrarily separated out, especially not in a religion where gossip is often taken as truth, and second-hand stories are related from the pulpit as if there is no possibility that they are made up.
I’m not sure why you are sorry someone encountered people being people — negative and positive experiences happen everywhere. I mentioned having negative experiences within Mormonism as an example of how human behavior is similar regardless of whether or not individuals are members of the Mormon church or not.
Two: I understand that you are making emotion-based decisions regarding Mormonism. I am challenging you to consider the possibility that those emotions may blind you to critiquing behaviors and beliefs that you would otherwise object to, if they were not taught by your church. I am not talking about issues with the culture, but issues with the official teachings of the church and the behaviors people exhibit as a result of believing in those teachings. I am also challenging you to consider the possibility that emotion is an unreliable narrator, and that being unreliable, cannot make something real if it isn’t.
Three: I was discussing with another poster how the definition of love is fluid and subjective, that emotions are subjective, and that they do not prove that something is true. I’m not sure what this has to do with the example you are giving…?
The whole concept of the mormon church and john smith go against the bible itself
Wow, this piece of writing is nice, my younger sister
is analyzing these kinds of things, therefore I am going to convey her.